兩害取其輕?真係?!!

十二月 4, 2011 - Leave a Response

如果你問我如果由禿頭同性無能之中2捒1,我會點捒?

傻L咗呀?答案只會係all of the above!

其實禿頭同性無能只係病徵,之前仲有腳疼同思覺失調喺咁叫“起錨!起錨

!起錨!”添!

大家!THIS BODY IS DYING! YOU KNOW!!!

我同小明行路上廣州問李嘉仁醫生,呢個究竟係乜嘢病?

佢rap住話:一蚊一隻龜 一蚊一隻雞
你話龜貴定雞貴 其實乜嘢都冇問題。

我信下面個廣告多啲囉

真㗎!!!

我係講真㗎!真㗎!

八月 30, 2011 - Leave a Response

我有個做警察嘅朋友同我講,李克強單嘢真係怪錯曾偉雄。

話說佢地係收到綫報先會作出咁嘅部署。

是咁的,話說有一日有一個差人喺地鐵捉到個色魔,

落口供嘅時候…

亞sir,係咁嘅,我啱啱入地鐵,突然間有團,係有2團黑影係我側面掠過,我唔知道呢個黑影心口上面嗰2團黑影係乜嘢嚟。確實係唔知道呢2個黒影係咪對奶嚟㗎。咁我嘅本能反應梗係擋格開佢啦!事發嘅時候呢, 我隻手卡咗係後來被証實為女人嘅人事嘅事業線度。期間呢我仲有話俾佢知我係男人,叫佢俾我拎番隻手出嚟先。後來我再查証咗佢係女人嘅身份之後,我就再冇繼續揸佢對波喇。

我係講真㗎!真㗎!

仲有呀亞sir,喺李克強嚟香港嘅時候,美國派咗几個變種特工嚟行刺我地嘅國家副總理。你地一定要作出嚴密嘅保安呀!

呢几個變種特工會變成黑超麻甩佬,硬膠大學生等等!要小心防範!!!

最好拓大個核心保安區呀,變種特工嚟行刺我地嘅國家副總理呀!!!

我係講真㗎!真㗎!

仲有呀亞sir!保鮮紙係我發明㗎,不過原本我係想發明避孕工具,但失敗。

可樂都係我嘅發明,原本係用嚟殺精。估唔到咁好飲!結果大受歡迎。

真㗎!

I <3 House!

五月 25, 2011 - Leave a Response

我係house嘅fans, 從遠古嘅season 1到宜家, 真係集集都有睇!

點解我咁like佢?因為佢實在有型!

佢狂妄自大,臭串成性,口不擇言,不怕強權,有膽識,思考敏捷,反應迅速,thinking out of the box,林林沈沈,十足十我另一位偶像﹣

馬草泥

但係但係

佢2個最似嘅係…

ok,我真係house嘅超級fans,由佢有頭髮做到冇頭髮再做到有番頭髮,我都留意到。

當大概到season 5咁上下嘅時候佢就開似甩毛喇!陰公豬!!見住佢用各種髮型去保持佢嘅形像

但係,連大英帝國嘅威過威士己嘅威廉王子都解決唔到嘅問題,平民百姓又點有辦法呢?

但係但係,有乜嘢會難到美國嘅夢工埸呢!

方法好那簡單,用鏡頭就,

就好似咁

但係自始以後,佢嘅頭殼頂同後尾枕就好似馬草泥之前几個月咁,

失那咗踪!

但係但係但係,到season 7嘅時候,有啲嘢唔同咗喎(我聽講佢地係用canon 5D markII 拍喎),但係我所講嘅唔同咗並唔係係拍攝器材嘅分別,睇多一兩集之後,

我明喇!

典解潛咗水嘅頭殼頂同後尾枕會每隔兩秒就出現係螢光幕上嘅呢?

典解潛咗水嘅頭殼頂同後尾枕會好似同我講,我大L把頭髮㗎頂你!

典解典解典解典解典解?

如果我識而家“更加完美”嘅馬草泥(佢接受訪問嗰時講㗎,更加完美!我求吓你千祈唔好落蘭桂坊,你比完美更加完美,啲H咪俾你D晒!!!你都係滾嗰啲會去城市論壇嗰啲啦!)我實問佢典解,我諗佢會知道典解。究竟House係咪曾經禿頭呢?

諗諗吓,我都潛咗水冇寫扑几個月!

我冇禿頭同姦人呀!我忙咋!

真㗎!

google “Hugh Laurie and bald"

十皮嘢的傅穎

一月 5, 2011 - Leave a Response

大家有冇睇過以下哩段片?

睇完之後有乜嘢感覺呢?

我知好多人睇完之後會以一句港女嚟表達佢地對傅穎嘅睇法。

但係!但係!我睇完哩段片之後即刻like咗傅穎嘅facebook fans page。

試問喺一個矣愚我詐嘅世界,仲邊道可以搵到咁誠實嘅女子。

可以喺公仔箱几百萬人(几百萬人?)面前為自己嗌價,喺哩個世界,仲邊道可以搵到咁有勇氣嘅女子。

十萬!Very good! 我相信佢喺呢個interview之前真係做足功課:(以下由明報jump抄出嚟)

問題︰ 「你希望得到多少薪金?」
如果本身已經「心中有數」的話,不妨直說。另外,亦可先讓對方提出一個金額,然後再商議。無論採用那種方式,不妨將金額推高一點,一來讓彼此有「談判」的餘地,二來雙方最終達成的金額數字,大有機會比預期高。不過,切忌胡亂說出一個金額。

試問宜家仲有邊個80後會interview前準備㗎?

大家有冇留意佢話租屋都要4﹣5萬,一個奀星都要住4﹣5萬租嘅樓,佢仲唔係強烈咁控訴香港嘅樓價?只有中六畢業佢,對香港嘅政治同經濟嘅見識,真係同香港另一才女﹣袁彌明﹣不相百仲!

但係!!!

大家有冇留意到傅穎佢話自己都月入十萬!!!

即係宜家有「男朋友」啦!唓~

不過如果我月入十萬嘅話,我諗你唔介意冇多個「男朋友」呵~

哦!!!!你仇富!!!

十二月 2, 2010 - Leave a Response

如果我係李家傑,我一定會去自首!去証明父愛係几咁偉大。再者,初犯最高「可」處罰款 2.5萬元及監禁 6個月。

2.5萬?李兆基?!!!

半年監禁?!你去自首,個官覺得你有悔意,仲要証明你為咗做爸爸,犯法都在所不惜!咁有父愛!仲要搬出不孝有三,無後為大去話俾個法官知你李家傑几咁孝順。

但係犯法會有案底㗎喎… 案底哩樣嘢係要令人發唔到達同俾人睇唔起,對一個發咗達同只有佢睇唔起人嘅人嚟講,咪講笑啦!

一個有父愛,有丞擔,負責任,孝順嘅有錢人,直頭要頒個金紫荊俾佢!你點忍心要佢坐監!!!

買肚咋喎!又唔係強姦!!!

哦!!!!你仇富!!!

話說今日我番工見到架鮮黃色嘅Rolls Royce,再喺蘋果日報見到,完全係挑戰美感!做乜啫!

有錢真係好! 可以超越所有框架!

怎樣去安慰別人?

八月 28, 2010 - Leave a Response

怎樣去安慰別人?

不是去演一個法官。

不是去做一個偵探。

不是去扮一個記者。

不用去發表偉論。

不用各種乜乜物物主義去解析。

去了的要rest in peace,

在生的更需要吧。

所以,自以為的法官,偵探,記者,行為學家,乜乜物物主義學者。

做一個常人吧。

因為這喪禮沒有你們的份兒。

因為你們就算多麼的聰明,揭發了真相,解析了原因。

但,你解析了痛麼?

你知道他們的痛嗎?

怎樣去安慰別人?

八月 24, 2010 - Leave a Response

綠野仙蹤的故事,

稻草人得到了腦袋了。

鐵樵夫得到了心。

獅子得到了勇氣。

桃樂絲回到家了。

。。。。。。

但現實的那些人冇腦,冇heart,冇guts。

可憐的桃樂絲。

你的黃磚路為什麼變了黃泉路?

可憐的桃樂絲。

你雖見不到美麗而善良的南方女巫,

但希望可到西方樂土

安息。

河伯娶妻2010

七月 21, 2010 - Leave a Response

戰國時代嗰陣就有河伯娶妻哩個故事流傳咗落嚟,故事係講魏國鄴縣每年雨季一到,河水氾濫成災,常常奪去許多人的生命和財產,縣民都害怕極了。有個心腸惡毒的巫婆看到這種情形,卻很高興,想到這正是弄錢的大好機會。巫婆告訴民眾:有一個辦法能避免水災發生,就是幫管河水的河伯娶老婆,河伯一高興,就不再鬧水災了。乜乜物物咁。。。想知個故事結果自己google啦。

我想講嘅係,係人都知做好水利就唔會再河水氾濫成災,但係就偏偏冇人死去搞好佢,點解?難呀嘛,又搵唔到好油水。你話過河濕腳易定係求那其其狗up幫管河水的河伯娶老婆易呀嗱?比著而家梗係過河濕腳,億億聲㗎喎啲捐款。

我想講嘅係,就好似而家啲尊貴嘅立法會議員,開口埋口就話租金好貴呀,租金好貴呀,租金好貴呀,就好似係人都知水災係由水利設施不完善造成。但係佢地就對租金樓價乜柒都唔做,你又會問,點解呀?難呀嘛,又搵唔好油水,所以哩啲政界神棍咪高叫最低工資囉,解決到問題咩?亞誠咁有錢會care咩?百佳買嘢呀?俾錢嗰陣排一世啦,唔好那意思喎。亞誠哥會care咩?佢可能會話:“你排隊排一世科水俾我如浮雲。" 但係啲最弱勢嘅人就好似以前冇錢錢給巫婆咁,點呀?死路一條囉!

從以前河伯娶妻到而家最低工資,人都係唔想解決最嚴重嘅問題。因為:世界太美好啲話,政界神棍咪會失業囉!

I hate you, BP!

七月 21, 2010 - Leave a Response

Dear Tony Hayward,

Please take a look at the youtube video above, our elite- Hong Kong Police Force- is trying to stop the spill on a road which caused by an accident. They were trying to use a cone, carton paper or a wire seat pillow to stop the spill shooting meters high sea water out to the road, if you think they are looking dumb or doing something ridiculous,  you should be ashamed. I am angry, I am angry at what you are doing or not doing at Gulf of Mexico, you are not only polluting the environment, killing sea animal and birds, wasting crude oil but spreading the silliness around the world.  You are literally stupidifing our people by showing us how you tried to stop the spill. The top hat – didn’t work, shooting cement into the well – didn’t work, James Cameron – didn’t work. i know you guys are clueless now and I heard that you guys are thinking about bombing the whole goddamn well with nuclear weapon.

PLEASE DON’T DO IT! I don’t fucking care about sea animal, bird, wasting of crude oil but I really care about my living in Hong Kong. Think about it Tony,and please watch the video again, if you’re still not getting it, watch the video again and think about it. Did you see that out cops were totally adopted what your were doing at the gulf of mexico. See the cone? that’s the freaking top hat method!

If you are trying to solve the problem by bombing the motherfucking well, no matter it works or not, our elite – Hong Kong Police Force – is gonna adopt the bombing way. I sincerely asking you not to drop a nuclear bomb in the Gulf of Mexico, Please don’t show our elite – Hong Kong Police Force – that if something is not gonna stop, rage the motherfucker! I am worried that they will shoot at the water spill if there is a leakage again or if something is not gonna stop, like a driving thru red light vehicle, I don’t wanna see our elite – Hong Kong Police Force- using a something like a RPG-7

to bomb the runnning thru red light vehicle because I do this sometime…

Please! Don’t Stupidify our elite – Hong Kong Police Force !

Yours sincerely,

Bay Leung

Introducing you… iSpike

七月 17, 2010 - Leave a Response


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